.Saturday, March 31, 2007 ' 1:43 AM Y
Well its time for mi to make some contribution to this blog =)..
am glad that this relationship has move to another level..
am glad that this relationship has grown deeper in trust and in love..
am glad that time and time again god has shown his approval by being in the center and helping us grow..
am glad that god is always here for us ....
ok that was just a prolouge...
Recently i came accross loads of attack from the devil.. He began to bring me to my past placing loads of negative thoughts on me..
"khye ur life has nvr been smooth sailing why not just give up .."
"khye give up dancing ... no one is watching u . no one notice your effort ... no one is realising ur potential .. u are just being used".
"khye why borther to contribute to building fund? u work so hard .. just use it on yourself.."
"khye your family is long gone ... the love is gone .. they cast u aside.. just leave them alone dont give a damn about them...
the worst attack was on my relationship..
dreams , images , negative tots keep flooding through ...
dreams of her going away..
Thoughts of not having the ability to lead..
thoughts of being inferior..
thoughts of doubts..
thoughts of insecurity..
thoughts of incompability..
thoughts of insufficient finances..
thoughts of not able to be a good bf...
thoughts of her able to find a better guy....
all these attack ..came in so strong .. so mighty ..
till the previous night ... i fall ... i broke down .. i cant take it anymore ... i weep..
i planning to give up on everything..
i threw things around .. i flare .. i throw my tantrum .. ..
i prepare msg saying that i want to give up this relationship .. saying that i felt inferior , saying that she shld find a better guy..
but
THANK GOD..i deleted it , couldnt bring myself to send it ..
i sent her another msg instead..
this time i felt that i need god ...i blast the worship song .. started worshiping ..
the presence came ... i teared very badly ..
i cried out to god .. why .. why mi again .. why cant my life be smooth sailing .. why am i always at the tougher end ..
i asked so manny question ..
but god just gave mi an answer..
an answer that pierce through my heart...
"have i not be with you and bring u through?"...
Straight after ... flashes of me being victorious .. my glory days came flashing in to my mind..
and i see .. how god has bring mi through my trials ..
i felt the peace of god ... i felt his love .. i felt his strong mighty arms holding my backing not letting me fall...
den he spoke again..
"speak to the one that i bless u with .."..
i picked up the phone .. saw her msg..
did not have the courage to call her as my egoist mind telling mi not..i am afraid i cld not hold my tears..
i msged her .. telling her that i do not want her to constantly carrying my burden..
but her assurance came..
i felt that i cldnt take it anymore .. i need to share ..
i called ... i said everything..and i cant believe i teared -_-" and its was the worst .. i had nvr teard that badly on the phone with a ger ... moroever she is my gf...
than..
she began to assure mi ..
i cld feel the peace in my heart ..
her voice place such a deep comfort on my confuse heart..
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This is another testimonial to our relationship ..
to prove that this is really a god sent relationship...
Now.. Regardless of any trials i face .. i know that i have god and her to go through with me..
i no longer fear . no longer doubt .
Staying as postive as i can be ..
fighting the devil!!!
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baby..
Thanks ..
i love you ..
there will nvr be a time where i will give up on this r/s..
God..
i pray that u continue to be with us ..
guiding us..
to fufill your destiny for us..
to fufill our vision..
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Next stop : Easter
